Well, I guess today is as good as any to begin describing this (what seems to be) never ending journey of PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome).
If you are like me and have been trying to get pregnant, you've gone through the agony of ridiculously long periods that are heavy and never seem to end, or to quite the contrary go on extended vacations and you have to wait around for them to rear their ugly heads. Either way, it's not a pleasant experience. All the while you have the over extended guest or the altogether disappearing act, you still get to enjoy those lovely PMS symptoms: headache, bloat, mood swings, aches, sometimes even cramps, irritable bowel, etc...
If you are reading this and have PCOS and would like to come along for my journey, I welcome you.
I'm currently enrolled in a university study to try and get pregnant. To be honest, I'm so hopeful and completely terrified. You may ask, "How can you be both?" To be honest, I think most women with PCOS feel this frequently.
The hope to have a child never dies. It sometimes may lay dormant, but it's still there under the surface. Feeling terrified on the other hand, that pretty much is a permanent resident. I constantly try to put out of my mind the thought that I may never have children, but unfortunately, no matter how hard I try, it's there. This study I'm about to partake in is my last ditch effort to remedy my childless existence. The study is free and so far, I meet the criteria. Will this be another failed attempt, or will this be the hope I've been looking for? If it works, I'd like to share with you what I did so you can try too!
Before I continue, I feel like I need to address the following for any "potential" followers/readers. I know that adoption is an option, but it's not an option for my husband and I (yet). We went to an adoption agency and to be honest, we don't have the $10,000.00 to adopt a child. I will write about that episode in another blog.
We looked into fostering, but at this point in my life, I just feel like I couldn't handle loving a child with the potential of it being taken away. Any member of a foster child's family can claim the baby up to 6 months or a year. I personally worked with someone who fostered a crack baby. Do I even need to explain to you the hours that go into helping a baby who's mother was an addict? Long story short, my co-worker fell in love with this baby, gave her life to this baby and a member of the family stepped in and had the court take the baby back after several months of my co-workers love and labor. That's the scary part for me. I'm not mentally ready for that.
We tried IVF (which again I will write about in another blog) and because of expense, we could not do it. I went through every test and procedure only to find out we couldn't afford it. It took me a whole year to even want to talk about having hope again. I went through a range of emotions: Sadness, frustration, anger, fear, hopelessness, at times even anger. I felt like I had given up, until now. I'm ready to try again!
I know this journey will not be an easy one, but I'm willing to take the steps to at least try. Most people can just lay down and get pregnant, while others of us who have infertility issues need to have blood drawn, rush around to doctor's appointments, keep charts and circle dates like we are scientists, have commanded sex at certain days and times and so much more. It's like being on a ride at the fair and you want to yell "Stop the ride, let me off" but you know you have to go through the whole cycle before anyone is even going to think about letting you out.
So with high hopes and alot of fear, I applied to this university study. I apparently met all the criteria so far (whack-o periods, overweight, insulin resistant, etc...) Lucky me! I made arrangements with my job and headed off to my first appointment.
I filled out tons of paperwork and got my blood tested. I was told to go on a Low Glycemic Diet to help the insulin resistance and to come back this coming Thursday for an overall physical. Can I just tell you how annoying it is to have PCOS with all the symptoms I described above and on top of be told I can't eat what I want anymore? I wanted to ask the lady, "Would you like a kidney too?" I mean I know they are only trying to help, but this syndrome just feels like one punishment after another sometimes. I will try and adhere to the diet though. It's five months of my life and for a good cause. But if I'm being (totally honest), I'm not happy about having to change my dieting habits. In plain and simple english, "It's gonna suck!"
I plan on documenting everything, if not for the reader, then for myself and maybe for even a baby that might want to read this one day. (Fingers crossed).
To anyone who cares to follow this journey, I wish you well! :)
I was married for five years with out any child, because of this my husband start acting very strange at home, coming home late and not spending time with me any more. So i became very sad and lost in life because my doctor told me there is no way for me to get pregnant this really make life so hard for me and my family. my sister in law told me about DR. zogo from the Internet, how he has helped people with this similar problem that i am going through so i contacted him and explain to him. he cast a spell and it was a miracle three days later my husband came back to apologize for all he has done and told me he is fully ready to support me in any thing i want,few month later i got pregnant and gave birth to twins (girls) we are happy with ourselves. Thanks to Dr zogo for saving my relationship and for also saving others too. continue your good work, If you are interested to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell caster email address is: zogospellcasters@gmail.com
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