Destiny Defined in Five

I have to write this or I'm going to burst.  There is so much on my mind!


Tomorrow I am going for blood work and an internal ultrasound.  More importantly, tomorrow begins the true defining moment of my journey.  If you calculate all my appointments, tests, surgeries, and procedures, I have been waiting close to two years to get to this very point.  It seems like every time I get close, there's one more obstacle, but now...now I am at the end of obstacles. Tomorrow I get the drugs for ovulation. I almost can't believe it.


I am overcome with emotion to know that in five months my destiny will be clearly defined. Within the next five months, I will become a mother, or I will have to accept the fact that I will be childless.  The thought of becoming a mother gives me such great hope. The thought of accepting another failed attempt is sad.  All I can do is keep my focus and try, try, try.


Because I have been trying to stay in the positive, I have to say, it may sound quirky but I got the neatest fortune cookie tonight after dinner.  It read, "You will be showered with good luck before your next birthday." I want to think that is a wink from the universe that maybe it means a "baby shower?" It might be wishful thinking, but I'll take it.  :) 


And one last thing, I am not going to write it now, but I do want to document it so that if it happens in the future you know I wasn't lying. Remember the date: February 11th. I promise to explain later. 


Good night my readers. Good luck to all of you trying and remember, stay positive. :)